Almond Butter Dreams


Can I just say: Food. Amazing! What it does! Is it not weird how eggs turn white when you fry them? And how strange is it that you toss random things in a bowl and when you bake them they turn into a coherent, solid cake? I know, it’s called physics. And chemistry. But that doesn’t keep me from being baffled every once in a while.

It turns out my husband secretly does read this blog, because this Christmas I received the greatest of gifts — a food processor — which I ventured to nonchalantly hint at just in time around the end of November in this post. (Just in case you overread that, I also like dachshunds, honey). I don’t know how he did it, but the package was wrapped even though I could easily have fitted inside. Needless to say, he bought the maxi-version, which has everything. EVERYTHING, I say. It’s not just a processor and a blender. It’s a juicer, a citrus press, a whisker, and it makes all kinds of slices and sticks and little julienne dices of things. But enough with the bragging already! I can feel you are all smoking with rage.

The first thing we did was to toss two packages of unpeeled regular almonds in there, turn it to level number 12 and wait. What happens if you do that for 15 minutes? The almonds become liquid. Let me repeat this: liquid almonds. I kid you not. See the photograph for reference! Two packages of almonds (unpeeled) and out came this jar of amazement.

Of course it’s not like we didn’t know that. A handful of months ago, upon realizing I am insulin sensitive, I discovered the heavens of almond butter as a sort-of alternative to chocolate spreads. But alas, a jar of it costs half my hourly pay. Obviously then, this is not something we buy every day. One fine day, and thanks to glorious Pinterest, I learnt that almond butter is really just a pile of ground almonds. Nothing more. Except they are, through continuous grinding, liquified. And the taste of it! None of that bitterness. Just endlessly gooey almond sweetness.

So if you happen to have a food processor and don’t know exactly what to do with it, try melting nuts! Almonds — or cashews, even coconut, or hazelnuts (melt in some chocolate and then think homemade Nutella!), or all of them together. Add spices — the warmth of cinnamon, the freshness of orange peels, the heat of chili.

Are you running to dust off your processor already?